An English Bride in Scotland by Lynsay Sands

Overall: DNF at 41%

I can no longer continue with this book. I am bored out of my mind. There is simply no character development happening. We have long passages that tediously describe the most mundane activities, like taking a bath, getting a bowl of soup, picking flowers, and the heroines lack of clothes and that she’s hungry all the time. But I have not learned more than a few sentences about the hero. And I am not exaggerating.

Lynsey Sands, you’re giving me the wrong information. I want to know what happens when the hero and heroine are together! But for some reason every mundane activity in is described until you want to scratch your eyes out with boredom, while interactions between the hero and heroine are glossed over. 

There is no sexual tension. No development of feeling happening. They’ve learned nothing about each other. They’ve not connected at all except physically. A lot of reviews said the hero is the strong silent type. My take on it was more that they did not have the occasion to talk. Lynsay Sands simply doesn’t put them in the same room together often enough and when they are neither of them say much of anything. 

To explain this, let me provide you with a summary of every conversation to the point where I decided to give up…

Scene 1:

H: “I’ll take her.”

h: stares blankly and marries him. 

Scene 2:

H: “Drink”

h: passes out drunk

Scene 3:

H: “It’s called pissen. Ye can say it.”

h: blushes and then pees

Scene 4:

H: tries to kiss her

h: “But it’s Wednesday!”

Scene 5:

H: “Cover your breasts. We’re going on a picnic.”

h: Bounces happily

Scene 6:

H: “Two sentences about my siblings.”

h: let’s him finger her and hates the sex

Scene 7:

H: “Your head is injured because apparently someone is trying to kidnap you. Let’s have sex.”

h: “Oh. Ok.”

Scene 8:

H: “What do you know about dogs?”

h: “Sister Clara taught -“ 

Scene 9:

H: “Villain”

h: “Villain“ 

There you go. You can now pick up the book at page 132 and you won’t have missed much. But if you want to know what does happens in between these conversations, it goes something like this: Heroine’s parents don’t love her. She grew up in a nunnery. She has nothing to wear. She is hungry. The abbess at the nunnery sucks. Her parents suck. She is hungry. She has nothing to wear. There’s a sad dog. Someone is injured. The heroine is hungry. Sex. She has nothing to wear. Sad dog. The abbess. Villain. The abbess. Sad dog. She has nothing to wear. Sex. She’s hungry. Villain. Sad dog. She has nothing to wear. Villain. She is hungry. 

I give up.

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